at 23

Have you noticed that you go through certain changes at certain ages?

When you turn 13 you think your life will be awesome (which 12-14 for me was just a totally BUST it was not as cool as pepper ann AT ALL!) You think when you turn 16 you’ll finally look as hot as everyone on Dawson’s Creek but it turns out you are still dorky looking. 18 rolls around and you’re “an adult” but for most of us we are still living under out parents wing at that age but going off to school. 21 rolls around and you can drink…legally, in the US that is, and not have guilt or shame quickly chase you after a sip or two. But then that eventually dies down in hype. Finally, after 21…the “big birthday’s” don’t really show up again until you’re the big 30 then you’re 1/3 of being dead.

Well now I am 23…

(I’m sure maybe some of you thought I was older…maybe because my brother is 26 and we are like BFF so I get along with more people in their late 20’s early 30’s because we have the same circle of friends growing up. People actually still think we are twins but that’s okay, we find it a great conversation starter…but I digress…)

...I feel like the world is starting to finally come alive. I no longer feel like I am ashamed of my looks or iniquities, nor am I as shy as I used to be. I don’t feel weird for not following the crowd for not being like everyone else or for being WEIRD, yes WEIRD, and I have never been prouder!

I feel like I am finally starting to be “a woman” (that always sounds lame to say out loud) and that I am coming into my own. I got back into dancing which is great and I have been hitting up the auditions like a fiend with NO SHAME OR FEAR of “what if they don’t like me”
I feel like I wasted so much of my life being a people pleaser. Wondering if “they” will like me, trying not to stand out too much, or just be myself. But now, I’m like who cares!

This year I have had so many firsts, my friend real apartment! My first real role in a feature film! My real first trip out the country! I just feel like life is starting to shape up for me.

Who knows what’s to come for m this year. I am backpacking through Europe in the summer, and also have some other great things lined up such as I JUST GOT A ROLE IN AN OFF BROADWAY PLAY, and I also just got promoted to supervisor at the graphic design company I work for!

I feel like I am finally starting to be me, and whether she’s gal, a hipster, Black, French, tall, hippy, crushes on boys with big noses, sensitive and a dreamer, whatever she is, I am glad to finally be okay to just be her....♥